Weight Gain

Minecraft, but you can eat.

Ever looked at Steve, who eats 40 steaks a day and somehow keeps a waistline you could thread through a needle, and thought “that’s not realistic”? Me too. So I fixed it.

This mod gives every player a weight from 0 to 20. Eat more than you burn and you grow. You won’t just grow a little: you’ll get a full, jiggling, blocky belly that pokes out past your armour, wobbles when you land, and gets snow piled on it in winter.

The body

· A real body that grows. Belly, butt, thighs, arms and (optional) breasts all fill out as you gain, from your own skin.

· Muscle is a separate stat. Lift weights and you’ll be soft and strong. Skip the gym and you’ll be soft and soft.

· Food babies. Eat a feast and your belly swells for a while. Your shirt will remember this.

Being big is a lifestyle

· Doorways become a negotiation. Squeeze through a one-wide gap. Or get wedged halfway and have to wiggle, get shoved by a friend, or eat something buttery to slide free.

· Beds fight back. Getting up past weight 18 takes a few tries, then a dignified roll onto the floor.

· Gravity notices you. Fall far enough and you’ll leave a crater, belly-flop into lakes hard enough to put out fires, and bounce off the ground like a bowling ball with feelings.

· Clothes don’t stand a chance. Jeans buttons ping off, shirts ride up, belts snap, and squatting in skinny jeans is a gamble the villagers will laugh at. Elastic waistbands are available for the committed.

· Tactical chonk. Bounce arrows off your belly, crush mobs by landing on them, belly-charge through crowds, or curl into a ball and roll downhill.

The gym (for when you want to undo the cookies)

A treadmill, a weight bench, an exercise bike, a yoga mat, a dance pad and a jump rope, a weight bench, each with its own minigame. Sweat stains included at no extra charge.

The food (for when you don’t)

Burgers, fries, milkshakes, cream puffs, triple-layer cakes, a deep fryer and a vending machine that jams at the worst possible moment. There’s even a baker villager, plus a bakery that spawns in villages. And there are chef illagers who show up to raids specifically to force-feed you. Yes, really.

The genies

Find a magic lamp and meet the Genie: a big blue lady with a bigger appetite who grants three wishes and has opinions about your skinny frame.

Find the silver lamp and meet her nemesis, the Fitness Genie: red, ripped, and deeply disappointed in you. She grants three wishes too, but hers involve protein shakes and burpees.

Summon them both at once and watch them argue. Forever. They hate each other. She burps at her; she flicks a towel back. It’s beautiful.

The curse

Hit weight 20 and the blue genie can lift your limit… permanently. Welcome to weights 21–40, where you’re 2.5 blocks tall and 3.5 wide, and:

· ladders snap the moment you grab them (get a winch),

· running is something that happens to other people,

· the ground shakes when you walk and apples fall off trees,

· your armour needs letting out and your clothes need letting out,

· small friends can ride around on your belly like a sofa with legs,

· and every so often the curse just… adds a bit more.

Only the Fitness Genie can lift it. Good luck asking her nicely.

Dreams

Sleep at a high weight and you might drift into a dream minigame:

· The Expanding Labyrinth: escape the maze before you’re too wide for the corridors.

· Bouncy Castle Chaos: a slime-block spiral up a dessert mountain.

· The Endless Buffet: three minutes, infinite food, no consequences. Probably.

Better with friends (and worse for them)

· Fatten up your friends. Right-click a friend while holding food and you’ll feed it straight to them. Calories and all. They didn’t ask. You don’t care.

· Belly bumps. Two big bellies meet, both of them wobble, and someone gets knocked back. Settle your disputes like adults.

· Belly charges. Build up a run and plough straight through your friends like a very soft bowling ball.

· Doorway rescues. Friend wedged in a doorway? Walk into them to shove them through, or right-click to pull them back out. Or just leave them there. It’s a good look for them.

· Belly taxi. Big enough? A small friend can climb up and ride around on your belly. They sit, you waddle, everyone wins.

· Seismic activity. At curse weights every step shakes your friends’ screens. They will know you’re coming.

· The weight swap totem. Swap weights with someone, no consent required. Friendships have ended over less.

· An audience. Splitting your jeans or getting stuck in bed is extra embarrassing when people are watching, and yes, the game knows.

· Genie drama. Summon both genies on a server and everyone nearby gets to hear them argue.